Jurassic World: Fallen Screenplay

Mild spoilers abound: 

First the good news: Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom has a crackerjack opening sequence. 

A moody, undersea mission to plunder skeletal dinosaur remains – and the unexpected encounter with some that are still very much alive. I love dinosaurs, and was thoroughly entertained by Colin Trevorrow’s 2015 Jurassic World - it was crisp and epic and viscerally enjoyable, despite the occasional silliness. Unfortunately, director J.A. Bayona (The Orphanage, The Impossible, A Monster Calls) fares less well with this sequel, in large part due to a muddled script (Trevorrow, with Derek Connolly) that paints in broad strokes and strains disbelief time and time again.

It seems the dino’s home of Isla Nublar was actually a dormant volcano (who knew?!) that now threatens to make all dinosaur life on the island extinct. It turns out that original park impresario John Hammond had a partner (who knew?!), Benjamin Lockwood (James Cromwell), who summons Claire (Bryce Dallas Howard) to his vast Gothic mansion to convince her to lead a covert rescue mission to the island to save as many dinos as possible. But first, she needs to convince Raptor-whisperer Own Grady (Chris Pratt), to stop building his house and join her, being the only one who can contain Blue, the last surviving Velociraptor. Their characters are even less pronounced this time, and have an uncomfortable lack of charisma together. A scene in a bar where Howard tries to persuade Pratt to go with her was reminding me of the infamous animal cracker scene in Armageddon. Plus, the ham-fisted product placement has them drinking Becks. I mean, this guy’s a supposed man’s man, house-building, wild-dinosaur wrangler in the age of craft beer – he’s not having Becks! He’d spit it out! Point being, I shouldn’t even be noticing the bogus beer choice. Pratt’s a wildly entertaining presence, but he seems neutered here, seldom getting to do anything funny. He’s wasted, stiffly running away from volcanic ash clouds like Ben Affleck in Batman v Superman.

Pratt and Howard are accompanied by two young assistants (Daniella Pineda and Justice Smith), and a suspicious gang of mercenaries led by “Put the lotion in the basket!” Ted Levine. Because guess what (who knew?!)? It’s all a sham! The dinos are being “rescued” to be weaponized to the (literal) highest bidder! Pratt and his gang have been hoodwinked! Now they don’t just need to save them from volcanic extinction, but save them from the evil that men do! The whole bestiary is crammed onto a single ship that looks like it could barely contain one or two – yet somehow this ocean-going clown car manages to contain dozens of poached dinos. 

Somehow this entire colossal operation happens without a single journalist’s camera being on the scene – despite earlier CNN coverage of the island’s nascent eruptions – as it’s the seismic event of the century – yet not a single press helicopter is there to witness the sauropod skulduggery. 

You’ve got several hundred tons of dinos? Where do you keep them? Why in the gigantic subterranean research lab/garage beneath your Gothic manor, that’s where! Poor James Cromwell has been duped by his nefarious jack-of-all-Ops guy (Rafe Spall), an oily suit who makes one long for the subtler villainy of Alan Rickman's Hans Gruber. You know Spall's a bad guy because he yells at children!

The thing is, Bayona is clearly a really good director. Working with DP Oscar Faura, Bayona captures some really fantastic images and knows how to stage a dynamic set piece. There's a lot of good material in Fallen Kingdom, but it's undermined by a tepid script with a plodding 2nd act. It's also frustrating to have the dinosaurs spend half the movie sedated and confined. You yearn for them to bust loose, and when they do, it's exciting as hell. Bayona loves classic Gothic atmosphere, and there are some great moments where he turns the film into a demented Hammer horror film. I just wish the script had let him go even crazier, as he understands the terrain between catastrophe and mortal dread very well.

When the inevitable 3rd film comes out, get some more apex predators in the screenplay department and please give Chris Pratt material that plays to his strengths. There's a bit where he's been tranquilized and desperately tries to escape rivers of encroaching lava - more of that! 

At the end of the day, Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom is pretty much review-proof. If you like dinosaurs and thrills, I'd still say go see it in the theater. I just wish the script had as much teeth as the carnivores it depicts.